Absinthe Minded …What a Long Strange Trip It’s Been

Wisdom's Erik Holzherr guided our exploration of Absinthe.

Thank you Sweden.  Thank you for your sprawling IKEA stores with delicious microwaveable meatballs and eclectic cabinets.  Thank you for your constant supply of beautiful blonde girls and models – especially Noomi Rapace, the Swedish star of “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.” And ladies I think we’re all thankful for HBO True Blood star Alexander Skarsgård.  But most of all Sweden, thank you for the joys of Absinthe.  No little green fairy has taken me “higher,” but I assure you that absinthe is not the Jim Morrison-esque hallucinogenic that you’ve heard about.  Instead, it’s a very cool artistic taste experience with subtle flavors that are as abundant as the wild history of absinthe itself.  Let me take you on an absinthe journey my little readers…oh, don’t forget to pack your sugar cubes, artesian spoons and water pipes!  Let’s get absinthe minded…what a long strange trip it’s been!

Just three years ago you couldn’t buy Absinthe in the US. That alone makes us want to drink it right?  Well here’s the story behind its prohibition and recent repeal.  The French popularized Swedish absinthe in the late 19th Century after traveling soldiers brought it back to France.  This anise or licorice flavored alcohol was distilled with herbs and flowers and was cheaper than wine and more potent (it was originally prescribed for malaria!).  It quickly became the “working man’s” beverage, and the poor artists and lower classes simply loved it.  But between over-production, dangerous home-brew batches and constant pressure from disgruntled winemakers to halt its growth, absinthe became the proverbial scapegoat for France’s rampant crime and societal woes.  Stories of its addictive, hallucinogenic and even deadly consequences eventually led to its prohibition in France and then around the world.  Of course, the irony is that absinthe isn’t anything more than just strong liquor.  Really strong.

Absinthe is about 90 to 150 proof and given that 95% of modern-day absinthe is made to the original standards of distillation you actually do get to taste the same spirit that was outlawed years ago.  It’s a unique experience, when you drink it you get an immediate head rush and a tingling feeling as it hits your palate and courses through your veins.  It literally makes you blush.  French artisans called it the green fairy because of its potent content and the drunken adventures that would ensue.  That might be the reason folks tend to think it’s not your normal alcohol, and it isn’t… because it’s also made with Thujone.  The combination of Grande Wormwood, fennel and anise that gives absinthe its peculiar licorice meets sambuca flavor is also a psychoactive drug that in heavy doses can make you hallucinate or possibly die.  They even call these ingredients “The Holy Trinity.”  Jesus, right?  Never fear, there isn’t enough thujone in absinthe to make you hallucinate, just enough to perhaps increase your buzz.  You would literally die from alcohol poisoning before you died from the trace amounts of thujone.  Believe me I tried.

To dispel all the rumors and really experience the Absinthe phenomenon I went to DC’s premiere cocktail parlor Wisdom with my main man and amazing mixologist Erik “High Five” Holzherr.  Erik has been slinging award winning cocktails at Wisdom (and his new bar on H St. Fruit Bat) for years and happens to have an abundant selection of absinthe at his bar.  I could go on about all the great treasures you’ll find at this cozy bar, but instead I suggest you just walk in and ask Erik for a “Dragon Tit” cocktail to get you started.  Your taste buds will thank you.

One of the most spectacular things about absinthe is the artistry involved in drinking it.  For 97 years it was considered a controlled substance in the US and a lot of the process for preparing absinthe has a drug culture mystique to it.  The massive water fountain, the spoons, the sugar cube, and the careful preparation often makes you wonder what it is you’re getting yourself into.  Traditionally absinthe is prepared by dripping cold water on a sugar cube sitting on a slotted spoon (about a 3 to one ratio of booze to water) held above the glass of Absinthe.  These spoons and bong-like absinthe fountains can be very elaborate with ornate designs stemming from Absinthe’s popularity with the French artisans who originally hand crafted these tools.  As the water drips on the sugar cube and through the spoon the resulting cloudy mix in your glass is called the “Louche.”  Erik pointed out that this is how you tell the quality of the absinthe.  If your absinthe is not cloudy enough or too green you have a bad bottle or you just bought the cheap stuff.  A great absinthe is usually cloudy white with a hint of green or slight coloring.  Releasing the Louche in the absinthe causes the flavor to blossom so you can get all the elements of the flowers and roots to mix with abundant anise taste.  Plus the process is a whole lot of fun.  Thankfully Erik helped me chase the Green Fairy in style with a few selections from his vast collection.

Le Tormenthe Vert: 
100 proof.  Has scary ghost girl faces on the bottle and Erik says this has the highest Thujone allowed by law—let’s get awesome.  Whoo!  Very bizarre flavor.  Hints of peppermint but also has a taste of your dad’s aftershave to it.  Refreshing but with a certain old man quality to it.

Vieux Carre “Old Square”: 
120 proof.  Made in Philadelphia and Erik’s favorite.  It has a really smooth anise flavored finish that opens your palate.  After the initial rush from the first taste it really is a nice little cocktail to sip on.

St. George: 
120 proof and made in California.  It says on the bottle that it’s made with “stinging nettles” so that can’t be good right?  Ironically this bottle has a monkey hitting a bell on it—all signs point to this bottle ringing my bell!  …and it’s also brandy based.  Monkey, check.  Stinging nettles, check.  Brandy infused absinthe, check.  Looming hangover, check.  Bottoms up. Whoa!  Instant head rush with a bold intense flavor that will knock your socks off.  A serious injection of green fairy dust.  Has hints of lemon and fruity flavor.

Kubler: 
106 proof.  Swiss.  Smooth and milky. Very mild but it will still sneak up on you!   This is probably the easiest one I drank.  The “Coors Light” of absinthe – a “tailgate absinthe” if you will.

Captain Jack’s Green Sparrow: 
Erik makes cocktails with absinthe at Wisdom too. This one is a play on the Johnny Depp film Pirates of the Caribbean – after drinking it “your hand gestures get very Johnny Depp like.”  This cocktail is made primarily of absinthe, pineapple juice and Cruzan rum.  It’s definitely Jimmy Buffett meets Gonzo….I’m starting to get the fear and things are getting weird.  Very beachy and good—let’s get tropical!

Wisdom: 1432 Pennsylvania Ave. SE, DC; 202-543-2323; www.dcwisdom.com. Other great places for Absinthe: Bar Pilar.